Okay, the title is a joke. I’ve tried, but it doesn’t work, and the latest result of faulty cat reasoning had me running around the neighborhood early Sunday morning, shoeless, in my pajamas (black, not revealing and kind of ninja-like) chasing a cat who was intent on vanquishing an enemy. We have a one-sided war going on at our house, between our two mostly indoor cats and the neighbor cat. It’s one-sided because the neighbor cat doesn’t realize he’s the enemy. He strolls over about every day to look in various windows and doors. I don’t know why he does this, but that’s another issue. Anyway, our cats go berserk every time, either not realizing the cat can’t come through solid glass or just hating the sight of him. He’s an unusual cat, with one green eye and one blue eye, but I don’t think that’s the reason they loathe him. They get so agitated they end up fighting with each other, while the cat outside sits and watches as if viewing a bad kung fu movie.
This might be just be a minor problem, except one of our cats, Tinta, has anxiety issues. I didn’t know cats could have anxiety issues until she arrived at our house, but she’s got them. She’s a great cat who keeps me company while I’m writing, following me around during the day, and acting like she’s missed me terribly whenever I’m gone, but she also gets so anxious she’s rather obsessive about grooming herself and ends up with bald patches, among other things. The neighbor cat is a major anxiety for her.
On Sunday, I opened the door just briefly and out dashes Tinta. I didn’t even see the neighbor cat, but she did. She took off after him, not thinking rationally about what she would do if she caught him, chasing him through back yards with me in pursuit, because I knew she wouldn’t find her way home. The neighbor cat finally took a stand and turned on her, so she ended up under a trampoline, determined to defend her position. I wasn’t about to crawl under the trampoline, so I made various weird noises to get her to look at me. When she saw me, she got confused (the ninja pajamas perhaps?) and ran again, this time to another neighbor’s house where she tried to get in their door, I guess thinking it was our house. A house is a house on the outside to an indoor cat. I did manage to grab her then, and carried her home. The end result-My children are mortified I was running around outside in my pajamas, and Tinta has a few more bald spots. Is a visit to the cat psychiatrist next?